Monday, July 5, 2010

Who shat in your Cherrios, Izawa-san?

God damn it Izawa-san. (This is the Izawa-san of first-blog-entry-in-Japan fame, who’s introduction to me consisted of “fucking stupid gaijins, causing nothing but trouble and heartache”.

He’s the “landlord” or manager of my dormitory. What a poor and unfortunate soul, he has to live here, forever. Anyway, today when I was on my way out (at least 5 minutes late, but what I now consider “on time”), he stops me. He starts by saying “Money money money, now now now”. Then goes on to say how utilities money is due today, and I need to pay now. Excuse me, Izawa-san, but if you give me a bill with a due date of July 6th, then by god I will pay it on July 6th, don’t you worry. But don’t bother me about it until I’m late. I know Japanese people probably apologize profusely if they don’t pay it at the first available opportunity, but where I come from a due date is a perfectly acceptable day to pay. Anyway, I stand there and take his rambling, which eventually turns into a speech about how I’m always the last to leave for work, and I must be late every day. Stop judging me, Izawa-san. Then it becomes a soliloquy on how I never sort my garbage properly. No one really ever explained it to me, Izawa-san, and I’m sorry I haven’t the heart to track down paper bags and collapse all boxes and paper and wrap them in twine like everyone else does.

Through all this I’m just standing and looking stupid at him. Yes, Izawa-san, I’m more than willing to play the ignorant-gaijin-who-doesn’t-understand-a-single-word-you’re spewing card. At the end of his long winded ramble (“Wakaru?”, come on Izawa-san, dignify me with using at least a somewhat polite verb, okay?), now maybe 8 minutes late, I smile and say in my worst Japanese; “Once again, please?”. At this he scowls. I laugh and say “I’ll pay it after work, I don’t have money right now.” He doesn’t believe this, as not having 60 bucks in your wallet is a capital crime in Japan. I’m sorry I’m still not adapted to cash based society, and I never take more than $50 or maximum $100 out of the bank at a time. I end up just putting on my shoes and saying in my best Japanese “I haven’t understood a single word you’ve said, but I’ll pay my utilities after work today. Today is the due date, this is okay, right?”.

He gives up, but not after he puts me in a bad mood for the day.

God, after all this time all the little things can still bother the hell out of me. As unfriendly and bad-international-relations-and-gaijin-reputation inducing this is, I'm glad I'm living up to Izawa-san's idea of a gaijin boarder. Wow, I'm bitter. I had to get that off my chest.


  1. You should pay him in American money sometime lol

    He'll be super excited then realize he has to go to the bank to get it changed, haha

  2. yeah...that sux blake. and i hear you on the garbage. im sure our landlord hated us but never said anything.

  3. Canada still loves you, Blake. Hang in there.