Thursday, December 3, 2009

To whom it may concern (hopefully everyone, this is worrisome stuff):

I had a mandatory 2 hour pre-departure meeting today for my Japanese exchange, before I head out in one month and two days. This meeting was intended to get me up to speed on everything Nipponese, including culture, language, business etiquette and their almost fanatical aversion to roller blades. I know what you're thinking, how could they possibly get across everything I need to know about the Japanese roller blade vendetta in only two hours? Jesus said it best: "Fuck it, we'll do it in a parable!"

The story begins with an unsuspecting Waterloo student working somewhere in Tokyo, we'll call him Lloyd. Hes got Nihongo down, and is achieving success in the work place and in his social life. On the flip side, hes got this 10 minute walk to get to work, which for Lloyd was too much. So he does what any red blooded son of the 90s does: he decides to pick up some 'blades. No go, turns out there isn't a Japanese word for roller blades, and as such he can't find any.

No problem, Lloyd gets mom to send his pair from Waterloo and soon hes cut that 10 minute commute down to about 8 and a half (its kinda uphill, okay?). His co-workers begin to notice his new wheels, and occasionally ask him about them, saying things like "Those are interesting". Lloyd takes these comments in stride, thinking that hes doing his part in bringing modern conveniences to Japan.

But our hero Lloyd was lost in ignorance. Turns out "interesting" is Axis code for "totally against company policy and reason for termination". Lloyd's supervisor considered these coded comments ample warning, and after a few more "warnings", Lloyd was terminated and the Co-op Japan program was disgraced.

Fin.

3 comments:

  1. That Lloyd sounds like one trouble making son of a gun. He must commit the ancient ritual act of seppuku to atone for the great shame he has wrought

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  2. The good thing: If Lloyd's Mom works for that company, she knows how to ROLL!

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